Dependency

September 21, 2007 at 10:08 am · Filed under Presentations

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eh,

September 11, 2007 at 11:13 am · Filed under Blabber

With heavy inputs from ma good friends tapan, deedar and aditya

you know you’re a pakka desi when:

• you wear white Reebok shoes over formal pants and tuck in your fake Cambridge T-shirts in them
• you take student discount even when ur kids are students …
• You stand in a line at Best Buy for 3 hours to get a 5$ discount on Thanks Giving
• You prefer to buy New Balance over Nike because they balance your pocket
• You wear a outfashioned jeans jacket in 85 degrees !!!
• you take a grande @ starfucks with extra cup so that u can share it with ure buddy
• youre a desi woman and you buy jeans from the ‘mens‘ section
• you are eagerly waiting for GAP and OLD NAVY Spring Summer Collection.. so that you can buy the FALL collection then
• T-shirts should clearly say which make it is … in BOLD and CLEAR
• you researched for 5 months to buy your 1991 white corolla…in 2007
• You are trying to sell your second hand furniture at a higher rate than you bought it initially for
• you bring lunch to work and eat only half of it so that u can have the rest for dinner
• u ask other desis ‘advice about women‘
• You share youtube links more than any other race
• You sit in a circle in stripclub and twiddle ur thumbs and never get for a lapdance
• while downloading on bit-torrent you keep ure upload speed as 0.1kb
• The only pay per view you ever watched was cricket
• when you hit the clubs .. naah that wont happen
• When buying soda, you go for the 2 litre bottles
• When you split a group dinner, often gratuity is not split initially
• When you buy Futon thinking that would be the guest bed
• When 30% of the things you bought were returned or exchanged
• When you prefer to watch Koffee with Karan over Entourage
• When you test drive a Lexus and come back with a Toyota
• When you watch Hollywood movies with subtitles
• your favorite movie is DDLJ
• you order veggie chalupa and confirm it twice.. to make sure yaar
• When you use Deodorants on your clothes rather than your body … that is if you use a deodorant
• When you go for a desi group meet, the only topic you talk about after a few beers is the times in the past when you got completely drunk with other fellow desis
• you tell people u did world tour when in reality u visited all those 8 places n sat in the airplane at the airport coz they were stopovers for your cheap lameass 20 dollar discounted flight to India.
• When the stripper refuses to sit on you bcoz u asked for 2 lap dances in the price of one. (eh eh please haan I am student no that is why I am saving for future)
• When the definition of get together is potluck
• you get a phone call from him/her .. eh, eh, who is your travel agent yaar, i got a quote for my india ticket at 1250$ and I heard you got it for 1240$
• you fly air india and u steal their blankets, toothpaste, brush, chaddi, baniyan .. everything air india has to offer
• you do the same as above for hotels too
• your favorite website is raaga.com
• When you read blogs like this and reply with fuckall comments
• you call some one a nerd just because they know some new technology that you also know !!!
• eh eh, call me after 9 haan, no day time minutes
• U think its so patriotic to wear traditional dress in US of A when u yourself despise wearing anything but a tshirt n a levis jean in India.
• U walk on Rodeo drive as if u own 4 boutiques when in reality the only thought thats going thru your “waatana”(go look that up in google biyaach) sized brain is 1$=43Rs
• U act like a “player” by pretending to ignore white chicks that mistakenly glance towards you when in reality then dont give a rats ass about your sorry little existence.
• You always ask for Water with no ice
• You wear jeans on the beach !!
• you have grp pics with white people with captions “with friends” on your orkut who have never scrapped you
• you reply - “I design protocol stacks” when others ask you whats ure job profile - and then you dont ask them back, condescendingly, assuming that they are secretaries
• your relatives in india think your a freakin awesome person - coz they think goin to the US is a big thing
• when your friend tells u he’s going to India - you assume he is going to meet girls to get married
• … and continuing the previous post- they actually do go to meet girls to get married - and they’re UGLY BITCHES
• U use “like” multiple times in conversation in your campaign of “trying to fit in with the white boys” n end up redefining the term “GAY”
• U try desperately to attain dimensions of those chicks from “8th st latinas” when in reality all that ugly gross FAT, courtesy “DALDA” just migrates to a different location in your body.
• Skip 3 meals b4 going for buffet, eat food enough to feed a small army n then take laxatives for the next 4 days.
• play cricket on a baseball field and make a lot of noise in hopes that people will notice u.
• when u try to take as many white folks in the background in a pic so your relatives think u r freakin cool.
• U do disgusting dance “moves” anywhere there is bhangra music.
• Ask for a vegetarian “hamburger”(do you even know WTF that means)

and the last and the best

Disclaimer: this post is just created to initate some social awareness among my fellow desis..about fashion, discounts, women..
why you say?.. because of u m—-fu-k-s everyone thinks WE desis are U –>

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